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Starting Within: Overcoming Discomfort Surrounding Discussions about Race and Racism

Hey Coach,

As racial tensions escalate across the nation, I feel helpless because I don’t know what I should say to my students. Talking about racism is hard, and I would hate to say the wrong thing. Do you have any advice?

Sincerely,
A Striving Ally


Dear Ally,

Talking about racism can be extremely difficult, especially given the historical and current racial climate in America. If we are being completely honest, however, there is a lot we can say about the history of racism within our country, but perhaps the worst thing we can say about racism….is nothing. (And when do we ever, as educators, have nothing to say?)

Children leave our classes well-versed about the multitudinous intricacies of life ranging from planets that most humans will never touch, the history of countries in which most children will never live, and even mathematical equations that won’t apply to their lives outside of the classroom in many instances. Why do we ensure that our students master this vast array of concepts? We do this because we want them to be well-rounded, aware, productive, and prepared to be successful in whatever route they choose for their lives.

Why, then, don’t we take the time to also talk about racism? Yes, it can be very daunting to talk about racism, but for the love of the students we serve, we do not have the luxury of remaining silent. When our children are growing up in a world where the murder of George Floyd has reignited protests around the world, our silence is more than complicity--it is violence.

But what do we say to children about racism? What is too much? What is too little? How do we know children are ready for these conversations? How do we have these conversations without frightening them? All of these are very valid questions, but the reality is that for as far back as the 1947 Clark Doll Study, research has shown that preschool-aged children have already internalized racial societal messages. It then becomes our responsibility as educators to ensure that our students have a safe space to talk about race and racism. So how do we get the ball rolling? 

Start within ourselves. A lot of times, avoiding the conversation about racism is a direct result of the discomfort we experience surrounding racism. No one wants to say the wrong thing because that could translate to a lack of care for our students or even sounding racist. It is important to acknowledge these feelings, and to be gentle with yourself as you consider the following:

I experience discomfort surrounding conversations about racism because ________________. 

This simply is not my area of expertise. 

  • Read up on the history of racism in America. 

  • Research current events and movements like Black Lives Matter to gain a greater understanding of what is happening. 

  • Familiarize yourself with anti-racist research to increase your knowledge. 

I do not want my students to feel uncomfortable in my classroom. 

  • Create a classroom culture that encourages students to embrace discomfort.

  • Commit to getting through tough conversations with empathy, respect, and understanding. 

  • Encourage students to understand that by not having this dialogue, we create discomfort for peers who are adversely affected by racism.

I do not want to do this work alone. 

I do not have all of the answers. 

  • …No one has all the answers, and that is okay.

  • Understand that this is a journey to do better, not to be perfect. 

  • Be honest when you do not have the answers, and commit to finding them.

No, this journey will not be easy, but nothing worth it ever is. What this journey will be, however, is a very clear indication that you care about the lives of your students. This journey will help shape a generation of students who are prepared to change the world by having tough conversations, acknowledging the harm that racism does to people of color, and working to eradicate racism in all shapes, forms, and fashions.

All the Best,

Coach